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Photo: Enigma Sports

"Lord, I don't ask that I should win, but please, please don't let me finish behind Akabusi."

Innocent Egbunike's prayer at the 1988 Olympics

Psalm 139

Know my heart

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Psalm 139:23

The Psalmist asks God to search his heart. I find that at the same time a comforting and frightening thought. It is comforting that God knows all my anxieties and inadequacies and that he loves me unconditionally. At the same time it makes me uncomfortable that he also knows all the sinful thoughts in my heart – the pride, the anger, the unkind thoughts, the lust etc

No wonder David prays: Create in me a pure heart, O God, renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10

Competitive sport seems to bring out the best and the worst in us. We get angry when an opponent seems to take an unfair advantage over us. We get angry with the official who treats us unjustly or misses the foul on us. We resent the team mate who is picked instead of us – and we resent the coach who made the choice.

We are afraid of the competition – afraid that we will not perform to the best of our ability. Afraid that we will let our coach, our team, our family down. Afraid that we will let ourselves down.

The Psalmist suggests that the answer is to be found in God’s word. “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:11). We need to read, memorize and remember God’s word. I know of an athlete who repeats 2 Timothy 1:7 silently before competition: “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline” as reminder that with God in control there is no need for fear or anxiety.

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